I wanted to be his girlfriend, but that wasn’t the way it worked out. So I took the next best thing: mistress. Even still, I’m uncomfortable with a word that implies a lack of free will on my part. It’s a lovely word, really, supple and strangely blue-blooded. It's also full of bad meaning. Anyway, she knew. His girlfriend, Liz, knew all along about me, so whenever he called her from my loft, he wasn't forced to lie and say he was working late.