herewith fall lows a from a tongue waggin soul
who measures about size nine
with pure motive to challenge your thinking as my goal
and if drawn to language as this wordsmith, a byte size musing to dine
with interpretation strictly within the mind of the reader, which rich or on the dole.
mindfulness = the general underlying sans this bloke, whose philosophic eclectic metric, hermetic, intrinsic...outlook helps me access and process reality!
toe this line to tread against da feet! ™ - a personal yardstick as i plod along the boulevard of broken dreams, whereby no animals will be harmed in this life long journey before the kiss of death, whence me cremated ashes will be dispersed across this temporal plane from natural forces of earth, wind and fire!
Arch back like a professional ballet dancer to stand out from other pedestrian applicants seeking to fill my well worn shoes!
Illuminate your soul via modest communication sans sole full insight acquired thru being apprenticed with this storied prestigious law firm of Anne Culle, Achilles Heale, and Marathon Nike!
Keep your nose to the academic grindstone despite the temptation to appropriate the international family business and graduation with supreme accolades from this famous father!
He forsook frivolity per his peers in exchange for a stock reputation of gentility honesty, and integrity despite his humble roots as the only male heir of a Middle Eastern European Jewish mother and father.
They scrimped, saved and sacrificed scarce resources to set the stage for this scion of well deserved fame and fortune.
Never forget those grandparents whose adherence to work their fingers to the bone (literally) allowed, enabled and provided this founding partner per the trio of stalwart attorneys for the underdogs of the World Wide Web.
Match deeds with credo of obedience to the law of the land, as epitomized by Abraham Lincoln.
Such obeisance to a democratic dogma will be firm stepping-stones to engender and kindle an Amazon zone of cathartic karma from paternal persona.
Such acquiescence toward morals of the conscience (and remembrance of previous generations blood, sweat and tears) will serve as intrinsic manna for clients to clamor like an unstoppable rolling stone to seek counsel from one whose genuine heart felt equalitarian demeanor a near perfect recipe for satisfaction for helping others smooth out jagged abutments arising in their lives.
Rather than lecture and command with a dictatorial cutthroat reign of terror (as casually espoused in “The Prince” by Machiavelli), this democratic, humanistic, liberal minded torchbearer of justice advises active listening (as advocated by the late Jean Dole, my renown mentor from Lima, Pennsylvania), inculcating intuitive posturing toward delivering random acts of kindness!
This includes offer services pro bono if an individual, family, municipality, et cetera appears copacetic yet struggles against insurmountable odds from the fickle finger of fate.
Exemplify by example of zeal for the underdog (immersed in some catastrophic series of unfortunate events) that money need not be demanded before the welfare of the down trodden (sic – such as the Harris Family from Penn Valley – who live among the wealthiest people, yet feel like outcasts of Poker Flats) from the mere exuberance of witnessing an ear to ear smile of gratitude!
Rather than be biased, inclined to be prejudiced based on cursory observations of one or many barely clinging to the life raft of survival, I (as a humble human) encourage a relationship of trust before casting an indiscriminate eye toward those less fortunate to live in the lap of luxury!
Luck (or the lack thereof) an invisible yet potent additive to this mix for those flush with disposable income or exiled to a hand to mouth hardscrabble dilemma!
Daily acknowledgement for ethnic, genetic and quixotic dice throw of chance in tandem with loving support of immediate kith and kin instrumental in keeping in check bombastically egotistical, haughtily radical degradation of fixation of values steeped in appreciation of aesthetics, beauty, charm, decency, equality from gifts hoed inside!
Joyfulness keeps love moving needling offset predilections!
Quality rests squarely upon the pillars of staying within the bounds of service to those less able bodied or beset with untold obstacles that discourage setting virtue (or the closest approximation of what that means to the inquiring mind) as precedent to blaze a trail of care and concern.
Always maintain benevolent devotion foreswearing greediness!
Invoke keepsake mandating omnipotent natural personal righteousness to vaccinate yourself against heinous, nefarious, pernicious, et cetera rapacious trapdoors of selfishness!
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number dos:
dollar devotee ™
this paw pa per hank curs the role of due bill agent
ever since ma cerebellum goot bent
boot scalp pulled crenelation no major dent
which hop pinned to be
due to a parallel series an amp pear ohm charged event
that brought forth this genteel gent
rudeness with no intent
this respondent out of the gainful employment loop
though a scholar of sorts and a wannbe clark kent
to drown you with wordiness meant
hoop ping jew kin oon durr stand me intent to pay zee rent!
hence the following to avoid being housed in a tent =>
GAINFUL EMPLOYMENT QUEST
pixar could nada pay enough for this trainer of apple chomping antz
so i wonder if any chance whisker of employment
thru this contrived virtual toy story qua ratatouille poetic brew
could materialize into a likely chance
such an idea generates me to shrek out with excitement and dance
just in case a glimmer of some prospect exists
for this self anointed bard and one who dislikes formality
of belmont hills now presents his technical skills
which i hopes to enhance
hence this chap offers following poetic expression common in france
to take a glance
to help this intuitive homo sapiens
sharp pen his mental acuity like a lance
which byte size bit torrent humor might cause ye to soil your pants
after misinterpreting this mishmash as some rave and rants
even part time income would buoy gull sans positive stance
with a subtle intent to place me as worth hiring,
to sway some au currant series electronic charge
and ideally affect hypnotic trance
in effort for consideration to ad-vance!
i betcha never read a pseudo cover letter reply
like a this iambic pentameter electronic wire
from a boyish looking blood muggle father up in years
(whose nonpareil courage to face voldemort never does tire)
and two grade school girls would consider him a worthy hire
less so to rake in gobs of money, but to satiate this nearly unquenchable hunger and thirst
for further (ahem) bits of computer know how to acquire.
this cover letter of sorts conveys an itty bitty
raw bit size actual work experience
(from this older mister mom who lives west of the philadelphia city)
nonetheless, i hanker (NOT to be confused with HACKER)
which prompts the following ditty
moi computer trouble shooting abilities
some may ascribe as nitty gritty
on a par with the secret life of one walter mitty
whom destiny protected and took pity
merely meant to be silly
yet also an attempt to be witty.
no matter how many miles by car
(actually your company might be within dead man walking distance)
this opportunity would not be considered to far
also hoop ping that responding in rhyme being considered nada mar
to use my acumen and interest and technologically spar
using graphical user interface programs
to get unstuck from virtual feathery tar.
iambic pentameter might not constitute traditional
standard genre for a debtor
i see no reason with rhyme
why my own non-conformist modus operandi
cannot serve as me own mode to communicate pursuit
as a computer repair technician go getter
which honest to goodness confession
hopefully affects against other respondents at least a bit better.
this pure breed mud half blood muggle prince
this bona fide seeker for challenging income
does reckon the following poetic way
not necessarily follows the formalities
to reply as most would readily say
yet why adhere to conformity,
whereby his paradigm frowns on creative r ray
which atypical modus operandi to reply a positive reply and job i pray
even if the outcome per offering my interest turns out to be nay
perhaps because where mien hometown west of philadelphia frito lay.
the resume (quite slim as jail grub gruel) may show a dearth
yet decided to resort to verse to induce a byte size mirth
of requisite (sought after) technical expertise,
i do possess the attributes well worth.
if you might just allow me to boast
and blithely use iambic pentameter to coast
maybe even given the opportunity to eradicate
re: exorcise any binary elusive ghost
and offer bytes of helpful information from this pc host
thus with brio and confidence i respond to your post!
so...without further ado i will slightly brag
to tell of an ability to conduct understand dos
manage common system utilities such as scan disk and defrag
installed, resolved dsl issues, performed
scan-disk and troubleshooting glitches
such as removal of dos files, installation
and/or removal of hardware
likewise uninstalling software, running registry sweeps
in an attempt to remove bugs and errors
that cause this machine to cough and gag
which invariably causes such processes as downloading,
sending, uploading, et cetera to lag
and if chance smiles on further consideration
like a happy pup his tail will wag!
oh...and by the way i would accept a starting
and/or negotiable salary as a starting wage
in an effort to support this self proclaimed sage
whose role can double up as a court jester, joker, or page
hopeful this poetic synopsis offers a favorable gauge
and in tandem enriching my fount of knowledge
more valuable at this advanced age.
y'all might think this reply balderdash and rot
which may matter bo diddly squat
no matter i herald from royalty with salient strengths
as being a prestigious scott
butta masta harris
does not smoke booze nor drink from a chamber pot
and a student of the establishment he is not
yet moxie by proxy this poet of belmont hills doth got
and might elicit salient characteristics similar to a humanoid bot
and, oh by the way,
i lived in narberth for some years quite alot!
age = two score + (the squawk square root of sixteen)
color = caw caged in
facial hair = usually non-grizzled with bear lee any stubble
height = about five feet and ten inches
political party = liberal democrat
nose = smallish - with both nostrils approximately spaced equally apart
shoe size = 9
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number iii.
HANDMADE FROM (the blew genes of) BOYCE AND HARRIET HARRIS ™
How apropos and divine to stumble (merely by happenstance) across a chance to claim my (virtual) fifteen minute fragments of fame just in the click and nick of time!
Although gainfully unemployed (do to a series of unfortunate events that now finds me receiving social security disability), I can still vividly visualize utter despair and vouchsafe to acquire the requisite trappings emblematic of psychic misfortune!
Indelible, permanent and unfading abysmal damaging domestic dynamics got etched deep upon the memory of this erstwhile individual! The general gist in the form of quick brush strokes (namely written) of psychologically traumatizing recollection now follows.
I can attest to malevolent mean-spirited objections by my father (and late mother) in regard to my grossly unacceptable attire, deportment and work ethic! Nonetheless, a sense of righteous vindictiveness manifested itself thru attendant Pyrrhic victories!
Back in those days I (a grown adult male and considerably past the age of rebelling against authoritarianism - and also their one and only not so prodigal son) poorly wore the mantle and staff of supposed maturity!
Lack of compliance and obeisance with regulations and rules of the Harris household (mainly thru being in constant denial to conform, maintaining emotional detachment and estrangement and evincing little or no concern for other family members) brewed, festered and lied dormant during prepubescence!
The pressure and tension between and betwixt genetic kinfolk (so palpable one could sense an indomitable barrier) would rank as successfully dysfunctional way before such nom de guerre became in vogue!
Fury and wrath became markedly and noticeably pronounced once exiting the storied four walls of high school! The venomous barrage and fusillade spewed forth from off parental tongues at an exponential rate and on a par to feeling the stinging cudgel of a horsewhip!
Out of fear and timidity, I consequently and silently absorbed cruel treatment! Neither the eldest nor youngest sibling bore witness against the tender spirit of their only brother! A façade as of a hardened (statue) conveniently adopted! This embodiment poorly served to fend off the onslaught of incessant anger!
This defense mechanism (identified as passive aggressive by mom) offered miniscule protection as I mentally dodged lobbed insults and affected defiance (in league like poisoned bards and daggers hurled) of said threats and ultimatums!
No matter these bitter pills of blaring character assassination (mine), denunciations, fulminations, incrimination's, intimidation's, vociferous vocalizations (by said parents), I stood my ground at played the deaf mute, which repression and internalization of emotional maelstrom only caused self contamination and manifestation of humiliation!
They (dad and mom) became further angered and inflamed per my total oblivious stance! This reaction added insult to injury! Deliverance per tough love lessons amplified to the tune of additional feats at becoming excoriated, ranted and raved against this, that and the other of my habits and nonchalant indifference to pursue work!
Those involuntary, unrehearsed and vicious family chats happened to be replete with heavily exploding and uncorked anger! That (of course) would be a considerable understatement!
Dad (the de facto, elected and nominal spokesperson for unpleasant chest thumping exclamations - which conveniently took place no earlier than the stroke of midnight - emphatically swore (adrip with dramatic livid rage - like rabid beast) all manner of vulgarity and demanded from this insolent appearing male offspring immediate compliance!
Defiance and fatigue offered him that predictable and usual blank stare upon hearing the kind and lenient sentence to pack bags and GET OUT!
With the dreaded approach of dire and sealed fate (played out in this over active imagination of mine with dad and mom fiendishly and grotesquely expunging themselves of any last vestige personal belonging), I most anxiously bided my time!
Those next couple weeks forced self-evaluation of Atheism! The recurrent consideration of relinquishing nonestablishmentarian paradigm in favor and lieu with God, miracles and salvation seemed to clash with being this liberal thinker!
As indicated, the tempest and tirade quickly got turned back upon those who so masterfully tormented this second born, whose steadfast stoicism and subservience to a higher power perchance brought a temporary respite!
That deadline (which happened to be just one of many similar sputtering swearing valuations of love) blithely came and went without incident - no matter expletive filled intense oath to remove) continued to keep pull to remain an occupant with kinfolk!
What caused especial ire and wrath to fester (per this apparent ambivalence, indifference and nonchalance for me to take any job - even shoveling shit - particularly within the emotional bedrock and firmament of deceased mother) constituted remembrance and vivid reminder of her father!
My maternal grandfather (Morris Kuritsky) supposedly never paid much heed to regular and steady employment (to support his four children and wife) despite his skill as a tailor. Hence my mother (Harriet) grew up and lived in utter destitution and poverty!
Mother subsequently reacted with ferocious vindictiveness upon witnessing a near magic transformation of near identical behavior in Matthew - the single heir to the family name!
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number fore:
hard nut to crack ™ -
hey, did u ever do anything this foolish as a kid?
when just a little boy inured to bodily harm
i stuck a bean inside my button nose
which caused parental fright and alarm
which yielded putrid odor
like black pearl jam stuck between toes
foul fumes a nauseating offal stench
detected by mere fluke
from mister good wrench
pinpointed putrid source
above where one would puke
necessitating face mask
to approach decomposing nut size bean
inducing outcome from those
approaching awful odor to pass out
even the most practiced
die macho men turned green
in addition from special ops
military forces confessed doubt
to accomplish mission
in this challenge from an enemy unseen
thus pitting me in danger if slowly germinating seed
sprouted full size
planting roots into cerebral fertile gray matter
forcing motley crue to brood
at this unusual impasse – no lies
but truthfulness, which outcome
could find me akin to a mad hatter
lest quick fix for someone
with a knack with moody blue eyes
like those of I bet ye will never guess who
came to my rescue
and eminently rid me
of near fatality this threat he slew
while clergy waited with family,
whom held breath against noxious p u
worse smelling than buffalo chips
or animal when poops goes moo
imbedded flak eliminated threat to this kid –
a very reformed Jew
when with delicate application of tweezers
across room bean flew
dunning torpedo like ricocheting
off head of doctor George Andrew.
from - the one and oonly math a u
whose alimentary canal frequently confused for moo
when feeling abdominal gaseous
and/or sitting unspecified time on the loo
squeezing with all me might ma sphincter
to release one e mints doo doo.
