When I die, I said,
I want you to dump my ashes in that skip behind Lidl
Then go inside, buy the cheapest wine and drink it in the street
While the good mothers take their kids to school.

OK, she said.
We were at the table and drinking beer.
I’d been drinking most of it.

When I die, I said,
I want you to break down in tears and beat the walls.
Shout, there’s nothing in the bank, he still owes on the car.
And when you leave the morgue slam the door behind you.
Slam the door and blame the wind.

She checked her phone and said she would.

When I die, I said,
Drive down town and throw my ashes in the office.
Let the bastards see what they did to me.
Let them breathe me in.
Throw the urn at the wall and slam the door shut.

OK, she said, like it was a done deal.

When I die, I said,
Pour my ashes down the pan in Wetherspoons.
Piss all over them and slam the door when you come out.
Slam it so hard that people turn round and
Wonder what the hell is wrong with you.

Will do, she said, and looked out at the street.

A van pulled up and a woman jumped out.
She had a package in her hands.
She turned round and swung the van door shut
And the noise hit me like a brick in the teeth.