and Aquafresh meant thoughtfulness
and Red Bull gave you foresight
and Sellotape brought gentle touch
and Panadol cured callousness
and Duracel made you stop and think
and Sony saw a better you
and Mattel made you heal the sick
and Gillette slashed all misery
Gary W Hartley currently lives in Athens, Greece, where he's conclusively proving northern English humour's lack of international appeal. He used to co-edit the Alarmist when it wasn't defunct, and has a book out called Your Attempt to Enjoy These Poems is Considered Unsatisfactory. His mum has read neither.
